It felt good to have time off from all the pain. From February to April it was all about family. I started to run more and focus more on personal development and getting my mind straight through all of this. Things were going well. I was feeling great! We went to Hamilton (which was amazing), I started golfing with some of my girlfriends, Sammy started soccer we were moving on. We were enjoying life. I was traveling for bachelorette parties and enjoying life without the stress of shots, medication, and all the things that come with fertility treatment.
I was still playing volleyball and working out daily but my back started to flare up more and more. In the past, I had issues with some bulged discs but was able to take care of it with a cortisone shot and some physical therapy. I started going to acupuncture and a sports medicine doctor to see if they could help with the pain. I felt like things were going in the right direction but all of a sudden the pain just got to a point where I needed more. I ended up going to a pain management doctor and he provided me with a steroid pack to ease the inflammation and it seemed as though it would get better. A week after the dose was finished I was in so much pain that I called them back. They scheduled an MRI but would not provide me with medicine until I completed a urine test (not sure why the didn’t do that when I first came in) so for days and days, I was in pain until my insurance would provide approval for the MRI.
May 14th, 2018 the day I will NEVER FORGET! We went to the hospital that night because I could barely walk let alone sleep. I was in so much pain and the Tylenol and Advil weren’t helping. The doctor looked me over and gave me some medication to ease the pain until I could get my MRI. They also asked me to take a pregnancy test that night. I knew that it would come back negative, I had just had my period. I do remember telling Brian the story of one of my friends how she found out she was pregnant in the Emergency Room. At that moment the doctor came down the hallway rolling an ultrasound machine. I looked at my husband and was like no way! I had all the emotions. The doctor said you are pregnant. I didn’t believe him and then he showed me the test! It was the strongest two lines I have ever seen. Was this really happening?!?! They did an ultrasound that night but couldn’t see anything as it was too soon. So I went home without any more meds because of the crazy news we had received.
We called our parents they were just as shocked as we were. How could this be?!?! The next day I called the doctor and they had me go in for blood work. My blood work came back with a strong number which was showing about 5-6 weeks pregnant. I went back in for more blood work 48 hours later and the nurse said the numbers still looked good. They hadn’t doubled but were darn close. She said they would call me to set up a scan after they provided the blood test results to the doctor. I thought everything was good. I had my husband drop me off because I was still struggling with the pain of my back so I couldn’t drive. He dropped me off and I said I would call him when I was finished because he had a call he needed to take.
I walked in for the scan and the look on the doctor’s face was not the look you want to see. He said I am not sure how this could be looking at the last time we saw you and the dates of your last menstruation cycle. I mean at that point I was like I don’t know either but it says I am pregnant. He did the scan and didn’t see anything except a small circle on my tube. It was an ectopic pregnancy. I had no clue what that meant but he said you should call your husband and we should all have a talk. How could this all be happening, what was happening? I had no clue what was happening. I called Brian and we both sat in the chairs in front of the doctor and heard these words…”We have to terminate the pregnancy or your wife could die or lose a tube”. What?!?! I guess it was a miracle that I went into the hospital and that they caught the pregnancy because so much more could have happened. It was the hardest thing to hear but I knew that we couldn’t risk anything. That day I started on shots that would eventually end the pregnancy. It took 10 weeks before it was all over with. I also at the same time all of this was happening went through back surgery. Every scan, test, and doctor appointment leading up to the surgery I had to explain the whole situation as to why I had a positive pregnancy test but was moving forward with everything.
June 12th I had surgery on my back and have felt so much better since then. I went to physical therapy for about 3 months and am back on track and continue to heal and grow from this crazy experience. After the surgery, I went and met up with several of my teammates in Indianapolis and it is just what I needed! I needed to take my mind of the total loss that I had just gone through. The ups and downs emotionally of finally get that BFP (Big Fucking Positive) and then losing it all in a matter of days. But in any bad situation, you can always find an upside. The upside in this story is that I got pregnant! We know it can happen, so with that, we have hope! We celebrated us in New York City, it was a nice getaway for Brian and I forget about the year of pain we had been through. We also took a family cruise to the Caribbean which was amazing!!
Life certainly is a rollercoaster but I am stronger today than I was yesterday and continue to grow and learn each day. I share my journey in the hopes to help others overcome. Anything is possible! Oh, and did I mention we added a little brown furry ball of joy to our family! 2019 is going to be all about following our dreams!!!
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